Dear Peanut,

My little one you have been on my mind soooo much these past few days. Your due date is fast approaching and I am finding myself grieveing for you all over again.

We should be doing last minute shopping, we should be putting up your crib, we should be packing a bag for the hospital. You should be keeping mommy awake at n ight with your kicks and movement, you should be jumping on my bladder making me have to pee all the time.

Instead I am still left to wonder what went wrong. I am left to wonder if you were a girl or a boy. I am left to wonder what it would have felt like to give birth to you and to finally hold you in my arms.

I miss you everyday my first baby and will never forget the impact you had on my life all be it ever so briefly.

I will love you always

Mommy